On Friday Mom and I will be driving to the city where my brother and his family live. GG is moving into an independent living facility there. She checked it out in early December, with my brother and his wife. They were all very comfortable with what they saw, and so now I am taking her and a handful of her belongings to move into her small one bedroom apartment.This represents a major transition for both of us. GG has lived with me, and my daughter before that, for twenty-three years. Spending her winters with us in the Southwest and then moving to Phoenix/Cave Creek in 1984 was a huge transition for her. She took it in stride, never looked back. She assimilated into the community, joined local desert conservation groups and participated fully in their activites. She bought a horse to ride and, through their common love of animals and art, she and Mamie developed a close relationship that remains strong. My brother built her a beautiful studio where she spent many long days exercising her artistic talents. She tells me these were her best years, when she was most herself, unidentified by affiliation with husband, children or other relationships.
This move is hard for me. It was my intent to keep her with me forever, without fully understanding what the future might bring us. At 86, she remains physically strong and for the most part, mentally competent. Her ability to make sense of her surroundings is weakening, her keen intellect (but not her sense of humor) is fading and she is sometimes anxious and confused. Her greatest desire is to remain in control of her life. I understand that intellectually, and I am pulling for her.
From a purely personal perspective, not having GG to fuss over will free up a lot of my time. I will have more time with Weezie and Little John. I can be a full time Nonna. I will have more time for myself, time for something of a personal life, although I'm not sure what that might look like at my age. Whatever the future brings, it will begin on Friday when GG makes her next move.
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Part of me is really scared for GG - that first evening when everyone heads home after dinner in the dining hall and coffee back at her apartment. That will be a very lonely evening indeed. But another part of me is excited for her, and that part of me hopes she will find her new independence invigorating. Maybe she will make a friend, start exercising or go shopping with Fay. Hopefully our monthly visits will give her something to look forward to, not to mention more frequent visits from the many people in Boise who want to drop in and see her. Change is scary at any age, and there's really no way around that - but in GG's case I hope this change is for the best.
I'm thinking of you and your mom and hoping for an easy transition!
Thanks for the support, Kelly and Clam, it is appreciated very much. Yesterday was a little rough; today went so much better, Mom is settling in and beginning to learn a new routine. People are friendly and emotionally supportive, and she is slowly responding and warming to them. She will need a few weeks to get through this transition period, but I think it just may work out well.
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