Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Renaissance Father (playing hooky from work . . .)


As a pre-boomer I am from a generation that divided roles along gender lines (shocking but true) so that everything outside the house was the responsibility of a male (or the person possessing gross motor skills). This meant yard work, trash removal, vehicle maintenance, household repair and so on. The inside of the house was the domain of a female/fine motor skills person whose tasks included cooking, sewing, cleaning and child care. Quaint and confining.
My daughter's generation appears less burdened by these artificial boundaries. I notice that Weezie's mom and dad discuss issues of significance in their relationship without regard to roles. They problem-solve together and determine a course of action. As a result, they seem to have less friction, fewer negative surprises and a shared sense of accomplishment. I see a lot of this sharing of responsibilities in their broader social network. The relationships still have ups and downs no doubt, but they appear more grounded than the tightly held, often polarized relationships that I remember.
Weezie's father is a part of his daughter's daily life. He was in the delivery room when she was born and presented the newborn baby to her grandparents. He continues to be involved in Weezie's everyday routine and she clearly adores him. It was all very new for me to see a father take on these responsibilities (see role division above) but as I observed their interactions I realized that a man can be trusted to hold an infant without dropping her or letting her head flop about dangerously. He can not only detect when a baby needs changing, he can manage the process on his own. He can dress, feed, rock and comfort his child just as her mother does. He can pretty much do it all (breast feeding being perhaps the lone exception). This absence of artificial roles and boundaries in Mame's generation is refreshing.

No comments: